All things Pink!!

Hello friends sorry haven't been in touch for a while, I have been quite busy and have so much to share this month and it's only the 6th day in... 

My first big exciting news, after 3 weeks of intense, extremely nerve wracking and difficult auditions, we were finally given our parts to play in 'Grease 2014'.  Unfortunately I didn't get Sandy, I can hear you all "ahhhhh shame", but if i'm being honest it was never really mine to get, and as most people who have seen me perform previous will know, I do always end up playing the comic roles, aka the dumb blonde with the high pitched squeaky voice.  (NOT STEREOTYPED)  So get dates in your diaries folks as I will be playing the role of Frenchie in 'Grease The Musical' @ The Arts Depot www.artsdepot.co.uk Wednesday 19th - Saturday 22nd March 2014 with Impact Theatre Company www.impacttheatre.org.uk for more information and if any of you know any men with a secret desire to sing and dance I think the male ensemble is still open for auditions!

As always everything I do has an alteria motive normally something to do with Breast Cancer and this is no different, we will be raising money from the ticket sales for 2 charities very close to my heart, Future Dreams www.furturedreams.org.uk and Breakthrough Breastcancer www.breakthrough.org.uk

Talking of Future Dreams and as this month is Breast Cancer awareness month 'PINKTOBER' I feel it's my duty to dedicate my blog to all things Pink, starting with the fabulous lunch I attended last week at The Dorchester Hotel.  'Dream A Dream' was organised by my extremely clever beautiful friend Pippa Collins & her amazing team 'Future Dreams' committee, who together with a lot of wonderful people raised over £265,000 for Breakthrough Breast Cancer & The Haven www.thehaven.org.uk.  Darling Pippa, Sylvie and Dan would be so proud of all your achievements and definitely read my blog.

Breakthrough Breast Cancer is a world leader in Breast Cancer research, and the money raised will go towards research into life saving treatments for secondary Breast Cancer.  The Haven is an amazing place where patients & their families can go for support and therapies that deliver encouragement, strength and real health benefits to aid recovery from a diagnosis and treatment from Breast Cancer.  

Now for the stats:-

Fact: 1 in 8 women in the UK will develop Breast Cancer in their lifetime

Fact: Nearly 12,000 people die from Breast Cancer in the UK every year

Fact: 50,000 daughters, mothers, sisters & friends are diagnosed with Breast Cancer every year in the UK, that's the equivalent of 150 people every day or one person every 10 mins!

Fact: Currently in the UK there are over half a million people living with a diagnosis of Breast Cancer 

Fact: More women than ever in the UK are surviving Breast Cancer thanks to better awareness, better screening & better treatments

Fact: Ductal Carcinoma in Situ (DCIS) is an early form of Breast Cancer, (it's what I had) sometimes described as Anintra-Ductal or non invasive cancer.

Fact: Early diagnosis saves lives!!!!

I've said it before and I'm going to keep on repeating myself. so please TLC - TOUCH LOOK CHECK  go to the website for more information on how to check your boobies.  www.breakthrough.org.uk/tlc you can also call the breakthrough breast cancer info line for free on 08080 100 200

Someone said to me when I mentioned I had to write this months insert, "I thought as you're better now you'd finished writing your blog".  I replied it's never finished.. I may be clear from Cancer, with no further treatment needed and no more hospital appointments (apart from check ups), but whilst there are people/women/family/friends around me who are fighting or at risk from this terrible disease, there is awareness to spread, money to raise and a blog to write.

So I'm back to hospital on Tuesday for a check up and next month for 2nd part of my nipple tattoo.  I'm not in any pain or uncomfortableness (apart from lying on my front during yoga), but as always some days are harder than others, and still a struggle mentally and occasionally physically.  I forget about things for a while and then when I collapse in a heap not knowing why I'm so exhausted and emotional, I remember.... 

Whilst writing I want to share some happy news and to say big huge congrats to my besties Lucie & Terry on their engagement, also Jo & Jason on their wedding next month, so much to look forward to..  

Finally a special PINK celebration for my oldest friends Joanna & Mark, on the birth of Baby Angel Mimi yesterday!!!!!!! So so happy for you and cannot wait for a cuddle.  

It is so wonderful to have lovely events to celebrate, it really does put everything into perspective and make it even more important to be healthy and well.

With love & all things Pink !!!! 

Xxxx

The end is nigh...

I am now the proud owner of a tattoo!!! Ok it's not a cryptic personal message from my beloved engraved in a wreath of hearts, nor my little boys name written in Hebrew script, or even a spiritual meaningful colourful sign with stars, rainbows & the like.. No today I had my nipple tattooed.. ouch i hear you flinch.  Not the nipple itself but actually the area around it (Areola is the correct name).

I think I was more nervous for this today than any of my previous treatments, because I knew I was going to be awake throughout & definitely the thought of a needle, all be it a tattoo needle, piercing a very delicate area that has already got a scar across it, did frighten the life out of me.  That's the problem with the unknown, fear of the unknown is often worse than the fear itself (if you get what I mean).  In my thoughts I had built up this experience to be much worse than it actually was.  

My appointment was in a very nice cosmetic clinic in Harley street, by a lovely lady technician called Karen Betts (www.karenbetts.co.uk).  After completing medical & consent forms she then matched up the colour to my natural nipple and drew it on with a lip liner, I then laid down and she began to tattoo!!! I was squeezing husbands hand so hard, crying, trying to zone out, control my breathing and relax all at the same time, when I realised I couldn't feel anything.  Well for most of it, there were a couple of stinging seconds and then it was done. Never have I felt such relief and the bonus prize is It looks like an areola/nipple.  Of course it's still doesn't feel like one (it doesn't feel anything or anyone as I've moaned & ranted about in previous blogs) but if I was to take up glamour modelling or decided for some inane reason I wanted to sunbathe topless (never again tooooo dangerous) I wouldn't look out of place or like a nippleless freak.. At last I look the same as everyone else...ish

Talking of sunbathing I have just come back from a week 'alone' in Spain!! My gorgeous generous kind unselfish husband sent me & I had a blissful few days relaxing in the sun with NO ONE TO LOOK AFTER!!  I mean by this the child was left at home (obviously not on his own) as was the husband & I had some precious quality time with my daddy & then some girly fun with my gorgeous friend Dani.

As I mentioned in my last blog I've been trying really hard to keep healthy & fit, by eating well & exercising, all part of my cancer prevention plan.  So last week I started 'hot yoga' which is amazing!! 

A bloody hard 90 mins workout in a very hot room, but my thighs are thanking me for it (most of you don't know but I have a bit of an obsession with thin toned thighs).  www.hotzenyoga.co.uk is a gorgeous new yoga studio which has opened up 2 mins from my house, so I have no excuse, & I am trying to get my butt there at least twice a week.  

Whilst writing I wanted to take the opportunity to thank a few people (may as well do it publicly).  First and foremost as usual the most important man in my life 'husband' - big huge massive thank you for my 'alone' holiday, and also for being with me every step of the way throughout this tough, emotional, frightening journey. I couldn't of done this or come this far without you.. You are my rock, my hero, my love.

Secondly my parents & inlaws (my other mum), there are no thanks enough for the help, love & support we get from you all, especially with your grandchildren!!! So please know how eternally grateful I am with every babysitting chore, meal cooked & general overhaul of love & affection!

I also have to mention my fab hairdresser Lara (perilly.lara9@gmail.com) who cut my hair off last week & as always made me feel like a new woman.. You have truly helped throughout my recovery more than you know, with our make overs & gossip sessions & your help looking after Harry when I've had no one else to ask. 

Lastly & as always my wonderful friends (you know who you are), just a general thank you for always being there, caring & supporting me in all I do.

So as I am nearing the end of this horrific experience, ( just one more tattoo touch up appointment in November & another follow up appoint with the hospital in October),  I can start to reflect on the past year & how it has changed my life dramatically.  

I can maybe start to live again without constant Doctor and hospital appointments, with a better outlook to the future & really start to enjoy all the good things that are coming my way without the grey cloud hanging over.  

However in no means can I slack for even a second when it comes to worrying, checking & helping to bring awareness regarding breast cancer.  It's everywhere, it's affecting more & more women & young girls every day!! It's an epidemic that is taking over the world!!! Male, female, young, old, Cancer doesn't care who you are, only you can care for yourselves and help protect your bodies!! 

Please check your boobs today.. Do it now whilst you're reading this, or in the shower tonight, or for a bit of fun get your partner to do it ;) Please just do it.. you could be saving your life!

Love, peace & healthy boobs...

Xxx

Ps. Husband is taking part in 'Tri for life' next week, raising money for breakthrough breast cancer so if you want to sponsor him pls go to www.virginmoneygiving.com/Bradleyleviton

Bikini bliss....

So today I write this in very different surroundings, I've just spent a blissful morning sunbathing on the end of a jetty half way out into the Mediterranean Sea, the warm breeze blowing my hair, & the hot Turkish sun beating down on me...  For the first time in a long while I was able to fully relax - mind, body & soul :)

For those of you interested in the bikini saga, you'll be pleased to know all is ok!!  A sigh of relief - I haven't let the fashionable people down.. Lol. Now don't get me wrong I would have my old boobs back in a heart beat, but as that is unable to happen, 2nd best is feeling happy with how I'm looking whilst sunning myself.  My bikinis fit well (primark rocks) whilst hiding a multitude of sins, my boobs actually look very pert.  A killer cleavage if I do say so myself..  All that worrying in John Lewis & trailing the Internet for post reconstructive surgery swimwear, for nothing.

The weirdest sensation is swimming, for some reason it's quite difficult as my chest area feels very tight in the water & even a few strokes are proving tiring & awkward.  There goes my promise of 50 lengths a day.. Ok so it was 30. I want to say huge big thanks to my lovely pool buddies Hayley & Nic nic for their words of encouragement & flattery every morning as I disrobe.

As you've guessed I'm on my well deserved holiday & having a truly wonderful time, the kids are behaving beautifully & with so much for them to do it's just fab.  The  best bit of all for me is not having to cook or clear up, it may sound ridiculous but for someone with my level of OCD, the fact I can walk away from a table full of dirty plates & glasses is heaven itself!

With only a few more days to go then back home to reality & the continuing saga of my story I have to face my next upcoming event -my nipple tattooing is booked in for a couple of weeks time.  I am generally very nervous about this even though my well inked husband has told me it won't hurt "that much!!!!" and the surrounding area being slightly numb, but with my fear of needles & obviously another trip to hospital (albeit a cosmetic one this time) I'm still feeling anxious & frightened.

Whilst writing this I can't not mention a HUGE congratulations to my oldest friend Sara & her lovely new fiancé Malcom on their engagement!!!  May the coming months bring you strength, hope & an abundance of love.. 

Also for any of you needing a little bit of inspiration in your life right now, including some healthy eating & way of life tips please follow my beautiful friend 'Chica Yoga' on Facebook, I'm using her to help turn my life around into a healthier, happier new & improved me, you can too!

So for now it's back to the sun lounger as got some work to do... On my tan :)

Xx

Titty titty bang BANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wikipedia: NIPPLE:-

In its most general form, a nipple is a structure from which a fluid emanates. More specifically, it is the projection on the breasts or udder of a mammal by which breast milk is delivered to a mother's young. In this sense, it is often called a teat, especially when referring to non-humans, and the medical term used to refer to it is papilla. The rubber mouthpiece of a baby bottle or pacifier may also be referred to as a "nipple" or a "teat". In many cultures, female nipples are considered an erogenous zone and it is considered a public indecency to uncover them in public.

It has been 3 weeks since my last op, & during this time I've been getting acquainted with my new body part.. Yes say hello to my little friend... Monsieur Nipple!

You may be wondering why I have taken to using the opposite sex to describe my new papilla, let's just say in comparison to the other one (my own original nip) it looks, how can I put this... BLOODY HUGE! & manly. There I've said it, & now when anyone sees me please don't worry I won't be offended if u want a look, or if I casually find you glancing at the area.. Roll up, roll up come & see the one nippled (is that a word) woman..

Ok I am slightly exaggerating it isn't that bad but compared to the other one, it's very different. But I guess you can't have it all, & I should be feeling grateful & lucky I've managed to keep at least one, & that they've managed to reconstruct a fake one for me. Fake being the operative word.
See above:-
1) no breast milk being delivered anytime soon :(
2) no erogenous zone being found or used anytime soon.. Booooooo
3) no topless flashing anytime soon.. As it would still be indecent for me to get them out in public - yeay 2 out of 3 ain't bad!

Surgery was ok, recovery time was much quicker than before, & after a few days I was pretty much back to normal. Apart from being bruised & a bit battered (physically & emotionally), my stomach was black & blue from where they sucked the fat out. The nipple area is numb with no feeling or sensation anyway so that healed without any discomfort. It was my mind that took most of the assault this time, the healing process is definitely slower up there! but as someone once said to me "it don't go to your boots!"

I think going back into hospital where the first op was performed all those months ago brought back a lot of emotional baggage, not that it had ever gone away, it was just lurking at the back of my mind waiting to make the big debut & cause havoc... which is consequently what happened, home was definitely not where the heart was that week!

My recent bra & bikini shopping expedition was probably not the best of ideas, as the lingerie saleswoman in John Lewis could tell you. A full length mirror, no sexy, stylish, young masectomy bikinis on offer (there is a huge gap in the market if anyone wants to go into business with me?) back to Primarchė it is then... Found 2, great fit, shape & style for a bargain total of £8!

So mentally I'm doing better, physically I'm quite fine, I haven't been back to my Xtend barre class yet, which I'm devastated about but I don't want to push it. I kept off the dance floor at a party we went to last weekend, but - I was there, in a tight fitting dress, very high heels & feeling pretty good - it was dark no one noticed the nipple...

My scaring is pretty minimal (fab surgeon) & the lovely kind people at Bio Oil sent me a free sample :) so I will carry on using it to help improve the appearance of the scars & keep the skin soft & rehydrated, I've also started using it on my face to help smooth & tone, better than expensive face cream.

The next part of my journey is the nipple tattooing which is booked for the end of August, until then here's hoping for a little normality....

Just giving page

Made a mistake with hubbies just giving page - if you would like to donate pls go to www.virginmoneygiving.com/BradleyLeviton 

Many thanks x

Here we go again..

Thursday 30th May & 2 days to go before I'm back in hospital for the 2nd part of my reconstruction. For some reason I'm more nervous this time, even though I know it's a much smaller procedure, with a shorter recovery time & way less pain, but for some reason I have this worrying niggling feeling nestling in the depth of my stomach..

There is of course the anaesthetic to worry about, even though I will be having a lot less & be unconscious for a much shorter period, then there's the cost, as mentioned before my insurance company is only paying for the one breast! Then there's the recovery period at home with my little boy - what and how much will I be able to do?? So as you can see that little nub of anxiety floating around in my stomach/chest has every right to be there.

On the upside from Saturday night I will have not 1 but 2 nipples, woo hoo! & hopefully start to feel somewhat "normal" again...

Whilst writing I want to say a few thank you's. Firstly to my aunt Angela in Montreal for having us last week & what a wonderful time we had. My 96 year old grandma celebrated her birthday & 4 generations of us were there. Secondly to my mum & dad for supporting me in all I say & do - mum you are my right hand, my support system, my aupair, My ROCK! thank you for looking after Harry as much as you do & for always being there for us when we need you. Dad thank you for our special times together, our fun days out & for your constant love & affection. My wonderful mother in law Elaine, you surpass any stereotype & my appreciation for your help & love with our kids is endless.

Last but by no means least my wonderful, caring, supportive gorgeous FIT husband! I couldn't face another day without you helping me through it.. You truly are my bestest friend & I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all you do & put up with. Everyone please sponser my super athletic husband as he is taking part in the Virgin London Triathlon in July to raise money for Children with Cancer - www.justgiving.com/BradleyLeviton

To all of you reading this now, thank you for your continued support in reading & sharing this blog, you are all helping to raise awareness towards a life without breast cancer :)

Xxxx

Boobie saga part deux

It's been 4 months 6 days since my op & I'm once again back at the hospital for another check up & hopefully be given a date for the next part in my breast reconstruction.

This bit involves an overnight stay for the nipple to be reconstructed on the right breast & fat transference from my stomach & love handles (I requested that) to both breasts.

My smiley happy surgeon seems very pleased with my recovery & yeay can book me in next month, he suggests I have as little done to them as poss to reduce the risk of infection (so there goes the enlargement 'Katie Price' style tits I was hoping for... Damn!!!)

I've got one slightly bigger than the other (haven't we all??), so asked if he could even them up, he said with regard to recovery time, pain & reduced risk of infection (he keeps repeating this, slightly worrying) I should have as little surgery as possible done & not have them cut open again, so I'm listening to him, they're big enough as it is.. (well one is!!) Plus this fat transfer option sounds interesting & hopefully will even them up. Maybe I should ask him if I need to eat a few more cakes & chips this month in preparation???

I did however ask him again when & if the numbness was going to fade & if I'm going to get any feeling back ?? He said the same answer im sure he's said before, "probably not" . Oh ok then... He said something about over time the nerves in the top of the arm knit together first then work their way down towards the breast.. Husband made some joke about shaking my hand vigorously ... Ha ha bloody ha!

So Saturday June 1st I'm booked in & hopefully all will be a success - NO INFECTION!!

On another note I've started working out & enjoying a fab class called Xtend Barre @ The Wellness Centre www.wellnesscentreuk.com in Welwyn Gardnen City - I absolutely love it & my thighs are thanking me too! The wellness centre is a fab place for anyone recovering from an injury or surgery, & want to have a personal hands on approach to fitness & well being.

This week i've also been working with the Future Dreams charity in getting their twitter & facebook pages up & running, so please follow us on twitter @futuredreamss & our fb page: FutureDreams Charity - for all the up to date information on exciting forthcoming events.

Whilst i'm on the charity buzz my friend Abi is doing a collection of old bras for .. you guessed it.. Breast Cancer! Now I know I have many a bra in my drawer which has never fitted or def doesn't now!! So you must have too, & by doing this you are helping to raise vital funds for dedicated research to improve detection and survival. BCR Global Textiles who help small businesses in Africa, are preventing valuable textiles going to landfill & giving them a new lease of life in developing countries across Africa, where bra's remain too expensive to produce. BCR are donating £1,000 to research for every tonne of textiles they collect, that's only 9,000 bras! With over 30 million women in the UK we could really help make a difference! When you Donate your illfitting or unwanted underwear it will be whisked away to start a new life on the other side of the world, where traders support their families selling textiles locally. Successful ventures like this keep many families in developing countries out of poverty whilst providing employment for people at home in the UK. Any bras that are genuinely beyond redemption are dismantled and disposed of properly. Pls contact abiswerin@hotmail.co.uk for the address to send them too.

Last but not least a big huge thank you to the lovely ladies who made me feel confident, sexy & beautiful about myself again... Long time coming!! I had a fabulous day last week taking part in a glam photo shoot for the lovely Jaimie J salon - www.jaimiej.com - using extension professional hair - www.extensionprofessional.co.uk - with photos shot by the very talented Leanne Benson - www.leannebenson.com

Anyone thinking of having hair extensions this is who you need to see!

Whilst I'm writing I want to send big love out to my friend Lucy Pearl who is a massive inspiration to all that know her, & to tell her publicly how beautiful she looks!!!!

Have a nice few weeks & I'll let you know the outcome of boobie saga part deux!