This is serious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

5.45pm Wednesday 28th November 2012 - back at the hospital, mum & husband in tow this time (things must be getting serious)..

"Mrs Leviton I'm afraid the MRI scan shows there are more clusters in your right breast, however your left breast is clear" (whoop-di-doo!! The sarcasm is fleeting & I'm hoping it was only said inside my head!). "I would like to do another scan & possible biopsy to be sure the clusters contain the same DCIS cells. This can be done now & once that's done come back up & see me."

So downstairs we go to the X-ray dept, into the sexy gown, & waiting once again for another radiographer to stab me with a huge plunging needle! Sorry I know I said before I wouldn't go into detail -but I'm feeling just a tad pissed off..

They call me in & I'm lying down on a bed this time, at least not squashed into a cold hard machine. I ask if my husband can come in whilst it's being done (this is more for him to see what I've got to go through rather than moral support - bit mean I know, but hey if I'm gonna suffer then let him actually see with his own eyes the extent. I deserve all the TLC I got coming.. Lol!!

The Dr scans the area & tells me he can't really see much, he needs to do a biopsy, ok I'm ready let's go for it (doesn't he realise it's nearly 9pm & I've got last nights Homelands to watch... Priorities Joanna!!!!)

As I said before it doesn't actually hurt that much, but this time it's a man doing it so he is a lot rougher, & it does hurt a bit, but then that's probably because he's digging around where I'm still bruised from before.

Approx 10 mins & it's all done, I'm a LOT LOT sorer than last time, maybe he didn't give me enough local, or maybe he's just heavy handed. Anyway the look on hubby's face says it all... I am now officially the bravest person he knows, & I think the realisation of how serious this all is has just kicked in.

Up we go back into the office, where the Dr. proceeds to tell me that once he gets the results of this biopsy, he will know for sure whether the cells are able to be cut out (a lumpectomy followed by a course of radiotherapy), or if it's spread all over, then a skin saving mastectomy (removal of breast through surgery) will be the only other option..

He also tells me that because of my family history, I will have to be tested for the BRACA gene & if that comes back positive then I will have to have a double mastectomy. With that he moves the tissue box in my direction (obviously used to giving out this kind of information), & the tears that I have been holding in for the past couple of weeks start to flow.

As I try to gain composure I can't look at my mum or hubby for fear of losing it all together, the Dr proceeds to tell me that he will book relevant test for me & make me an appointment tomorrow morning with the plastic surgeon, blah blah blah blah - not that it's boring, I just think I'd switched off by then & knew my subconscious & my mother, would be taking all the info in. I on the other hand just wanted to get out of there, fall into hubby's arms & sob, which is what consequently happened.