Trauma affects people in different ways, some relish it, can't do enough, need/want to be close or involved, others feel awkward, useless & prefer to stay away. Perhaps they're going through their own trauma & don't want to burden, or perhaps they just don't want to be made to feel any worse. Either way it's funny how the ones you want around are there & make a fuss & it makes you appreciate them & their friendship even more, & the ones that don't, well I have bigger fish to fry, more important things to think & worry about. I need to channel all my energies into coping day to day with the said trauma, whilst physically & mentally trying to heal.
So excuse me if I'm being a bit selfish at the moment but yes for now it is all about ME!
Anyway to everyone who is interested & does care.. I will keep you up to date with what's been going on, & my have I been busy!!
Firstly I went back to the hospital yesterday for a check up & my surgeon is very pleased. Everything's healing nicely, still a bit of fluid inside (hence why swollen & sore + I can feel the implants moving around.. YUK!!) but over time that will drain back into the body naturally, plus with the lymphatic drainage massage treatment I'm having at Chai Cancer Care http://www.chaicancercare.org (amazing place) it is starting to feel a lot easier. Then once the Stratis mesh joins with my skin, the implant will slot into place & then the whole breast will tighten & lift. I won't have the actual results of what it's all going to look like for about 3 months, as that's when everything should be settled, but if I'm still not happy they can be tweaked!! That's also when they will make & tattoo the nipple, but everything has to be completely healed & in its correct place - heaven forbid after all this I should have a wonky nipple! I still have to keep doing my exercises 3x a day & to come back & see him in 6 weeks!
After hearing all of that I'm feeling slightly better, now knowing that shallow as it might sound, I could have half decent boobs at the end of all this :)
Secondly last week I had some FANTASTIC news!! For those of you that don't know I'm a bit of a drama queen.... "Who me??? Never!!!!!" well in more sense than one, I actually sing, dance & act, have done for years, fully trained from a young age & belong to an AMAZING amateur dramatics company based in Finchley called 'Impact Theatre Company' - www.impacttheatre.org
For the past 10 years (give or take a few shows) I have fulfilled my performance potential & loved every minute of it, with this fabulous & talented group of people, with this year being no exception.
To my delight I received an email from the director telling us that our next show which will be in March next year, with auditions & rehearsals to start in September is going to be.......... "Grease"!!!!!!!!!! Now to some of you this might mean nothing, I hear you saying what's the big deal? But to those of you who know me well will understand this is a VERRRRY big deal, HUGE!!! Years of pent up Pink Ladies syndrome bubbling underneath the surface since the very first time I laid my eyes on John Travolta & Olivia Newton John in that 80's classic.. So to say I am beyond excited is an understatement. Plus I have something to focus on & to be completely healed & physically fit for.
I have also joined 'Tonights the Night' charity committee, who in conjunction with 'Future Dreams' -www.futuredreams.org.uk another charity close to my heart, both who do fantastic work to raise money for Breakthrough Breast Cancer, are taking on the fund raising aspect of the show, & together we are going to make lots of money, spread awareness & help strive towards a future without breast cancer!!!
Last but by no means least on Wednesday my gorgeous divine little chap turned 2 & we had a fab party for him at the weekend, with balloons, cake, presents, wonderful friends & the hugely talented Natasha @ Hartbeeps - www.hartbeeps.com who kept the littlens' & mummies gloriously entertained! Anyone who's thinking of having a birthday soon (obviously under the age of 5) you must book her!!! firstname.lastname@example.org
As you can see I must be improving, but I'm going to carry on blogging, so please lovely people keep reading & sharing as this helps so many, but don't forget.....
IT IS ALL ABOUT ME!!!!! ;)